Oscar has been Volunteering with Project Trust in Thailand for 2024/25. Here he documents his feelings and experiences of leaving home for the first time.
“On the 12th of September, I woke up at my mum’s house for the very last time. My head was a whirlwind of excitement and “what-ifs.”
I tried to take it all in – one last look at the room where so much of my life had unfolded. My train to London was leaving Edinburgh Waverley at 7 a.m., and Alex, my best mate, had stayed over so he could give us a lift to the station. While Alex went to get the car, I faced the difficult goodbye with my brother, his girlfriend, and my sister. Somehow, I held it together, but even now, thinking about it makes my chest tighten. As I walked down the stairs of my mum’s flat for the last time, it all came flooding back – the sense of home I had always felt here. If those walls could talk, they’d have plenty of stories to tell, from the chaotic house parties I thought I’d gotten away with to the birthdays that filled the flat with laughter. But it was more than just those big moments. It was the comfort of coming home after a long day, the smell from the bottom of the stairs leading to my mum’s kitchen, and the way I could just be there without thinking about anything else.
When I got into Alex’s car, the silence felt heavy. If you know either of us, that’s a clear sign something’s up. We drove past streets I’d walked down countless times, but everything felt different this time. As my mum pulled my suitcase out of Alex’s car, I said my goodbyes to him. It was easier knowing he’d come to visit, but it was still hard to say goodbye. I really miss him already – no one gets me like he does; he’s definitely set the bar high for what a friend should be.
The train to London went by quickly. When we arrived, we headed to the hotel, dropped off our bags, and spent the rest of the day wandering around the city. It felt oddly familiar – London was a place my mum and I had spent a lot of time in over the years. Walking around, talking like usual, it almost felt like any other trip. But something was different this time. This wasn’t just a casual visit; London was only a stop on the way to something much bigger – Bangkok. The weight of that sat quietly in the back of my mind all day. We had dinner, but by the time we got back to the hotel, the nerves had really set in. As I lay in bed that night, the excitement I’d been feeling all day was mixed with anxiety. I was about to leave everything I knew behind, and the reality of it all was sinking in. Tomorrow wasn’t just another travel day; it was the start of something completely new. My mind wouldn’t stop racing, thinking about what was to come. Eventually, I fell asleep, but it wasn’t easy with the butterflies in my stomach.
Then I woke up, ready to catch the Tube to the airport and meet the other volunteers I was traveling with. Lindsay, my mum’s friend, who I call my second mum, came with us to the airport. Having her there reassured me, not just because my mum and I both have a terrible sense of direction, but also because I felt better knowing someone would be there for my mum. I knew saying goodbye would be hard for both of us, and having Lindsay with her made it a little easier. That was probably the hardest goodbye, not because it was worse than saying goodbye to my dad or siblings, but because it was the final one. My mum, like me, isn’t great at hiding tears, and seeing her like that made it even tougher.
Afterward, I met the other volunteers, and we headed through security. As usual, the airport was packed, but we managed to make it through. Naturally, we headed straight for a Wetherspoons breakfast like true Brits. After breakfast, we waited at the gate and then boarded the plane for Kuala Lumpur. The food was surprisingly delicious, but the turbulence was something else. It was so bumpy that it felt like the plane was mirroring how I was feeling inside – nervous, unsure, and full of ups and downs. We flew through several thunderstorms, and the turbulence was so bad that I didn’t sleep a wink.
So, when we finally landed in Kuala Lumpur, I was beyond relieved. Our connecting flight to Bangkok was much shorter, only about two hours, and before I knew it, we had arrived. At the airport, we met our country rep, Aydan, who had been a volunteer himself, so he knew exactly how we were feeling.
We arrived at the hotel, which was absolutely stunning, but in that moment, I was completely overwhelmed. The exhaustion from the long journey and the flood of emotions from all the goodbyes hit me hard. I decided to take a nap, hoping to clear my head and recharge. When I woke up, I felt a bit more grounded and joined the group for a beautiful dinner. The food was incredible, and I started to feel a sense of excitement creeping back in.
After dinner, we headed up to the bar on the rooftop of the hotel. The view was breath-taking, Bangkok’s skyline stretched out beneath us, a mixture of lights and sounds that felt almost surreal. As we clinked our glasses together, it started to sink in: we’d done it. We had raised all the money, packed up our lives, and left home. Standing there, surrounded by new friends, I felt a mix of pride and disbelief. We’d made it through the emotional rollercoaster of leaving, the nerve-wracking travel, and now, here we were, at the start of something so much bigger than any of us. It was a night of celebration, not just for making it to Bangkok, but for all the hard work and courage it took to get here.
The next day, we headed to a shopping centre to get SIM cards, which turned into our first real challenge with the language barrier. Thankfully, Google Translate came to the rescue. We split into two groups, and it still took our group of six nearly three hours to get everyone sorted. By the time we were done, we were absolutely starving, so we found a spot for lunch. I offered to cover the bill to make things easier, and everyone could transfer me later. When the bill came, we couldn’t stop laughing—it was only £16 for six meals and drinks! I felt like such a tight arse asking for the money back, but we had a good laugh about it.
The next morning, we headed off to Tha Ruae. I wish I could say everything’s been perfect, but it’s been a tough start. Since arriving, I’ve been pretty ill—two colds, constant toothaches that resulted in two teeth being pulled, a round of food poisoning, and the inevitable homesickness. Right now, I’m in Chiang Mai, and it’s such a beautiful city, so I’m hoping my luck turns around. Despite the challenges, I’ve already fallen in love with Thailand—the warmth of the people, the richness of the culture, and of course, the food. There’s something about this place that makes even the hard days worth it.
Our living conditions have been a bit of an adjustment, too. We don’t have a fridge or a proper shower, so it’s cold bucket washes and creative ways to store food. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s teaching me to appreciate the little things. Every day brings new challenges, but I’m learning to handle them.
As tough as it’s been at times, I’ve learned so much about myself and what I’m capable of. Thailand, with all its beauty and its challenges, has a way of pushing you, but it also rewards you. Even with all the ups and downs, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. I’m growing stronger, and I’m ready for whatever comes next. “
Ready to take on the challenge of leaving home to Volunteer internationally? Find out more about where you can go here.
