• Family Matters

    Family Matters

    โ€œOf course, youโ€™re my sister.โ€ Muhammadโ€™s words of encouragement came as a touching surprise. Iโ€™m not great with tech at the best of times, but in Senegal, without an Apple Store, I had no idea how to get my frozen phone repaired. It was day three or four of the screen not budging. Where to go? Google search? YouTube tutorial? It turned out the answer lay in the room across the hall. Within hours of asking, my phone was being dissected and repaired by local legend โ€˜DJ Portableโ€™ after a free ride and recommendation by host brother Muhammad. (Can report – despite being wiped – it returned functioning perfectly.)

    What does it take to build a trusting relationship with a family from a different culture? More than living with them for the best part of a year; but that alone goes a long way. Birthdays, bad days, western favourites and Muslim holidays spent together are the bare minimum of nine monthsโ€™ shared experiences when you live with a typical Senegalese family. Mine – the Ndiayes – threw in personalities, ages, delicious home cooking and resident sheep: so each day became a chance to get to know each other better.

    We – Fionn, my project partner and I – entered this house thankful but guilt-ridden, apologising for our presence from the start. The relationships blossomed when we accepted their kindness and tried to make it up to them in other ways. Weekly joys lay in discovering what they took for granted, them shedding light on our western customs, and a general sense of exchange and valuable company.

    One week we had no running water for four days. We shared out what little we had stored, and resolved next time to fill up a few more jerry cans in case of emergency. One evening I was asked what food we ate in the UK. A month or so later, spaghetti bolognese became a regular family meal – prepared by a different handful of helpful family members each time, with fresh baguettes and extra spice served in Senegalese addition. We picked mangoes together, played copious rounds of Uno, and traded Attaya and Kanquiliba (Senegalese tea) for Earl Grey and English Breakfast. Other exchanges included help with homework and lesson plans, naรฏve questions asked and answered and a great many board games and dances.

    Around July, school drawing to a close, Alouine, youngest of the six Ndiaye siblings at fourteen, was having a frustrating argument with some of the rest of the family. He began crying – something Iโ€™d never seen this jokey, confident boy let himself do before. Most of the argument was in shouty bursts of Wolof (the mother tongue), so I dared not join in or attempt peace making for fear of misunderstanding. Everyone was very angry: these were high stakes being discussed. It all got too much, and at one point I decided to walk away from the noise to a sofa, guiding Alouine with me. I sat beside him in silence and never found out what that argument was about. I know heโ€™d be too proud to tell me. But I waited with him while the dust settled. Because heโ€™s my brother.

  • Living in Thilmakha; adapting to rural life in Senegal

    Living in Thilmakha; adapting to rural life in Senegal

    I went to Senegal with Project Trust in 2021. Iโ€™d like to share my experiences living, working
    and socialising in a remote village.
    Travelling to your project for the first time is a unique experience, I remember driving
    through an unfamiliar dusty landscape, with a few hardy trees and even hardier goats. I was
    full of excitement, anticipation and nerves as this is going to be my home for the next
    chapter in my life. Myself and my partner (Seona) were in Thilmakha, Senegal. A rural village
    in the centre of the country, acclimatising was a bit tricky at first, with a whole new culture,
    language, and an average of around 38 degrees Celsius. However, in no time it became our
    home.
    We were living in a room in a shared house, there were four separate houses with a
    communal, and very lively, courtyard space in the centre. Our house was inhabited by men
    working in the village, however in the other three houses were busy families who all took us
    under their wing. We didnโ€™t have a host family exactly, but we ate, cooked, babysat and
    hung out with our neighbours daily. we had the option to either live at the school with other
    teachers, or in our room in the heart of the village and we are very glad we chose the
    village. This allowed us to be exposed to both worlds, school and village life.
    Living with the community was incredibly enriching and meant we learned the local
    language (Wolof) at speed. It is so rewarding to feel involved and accepted in the
    community however it can be a balancing act, and in my experience, sometimes
    overwhelming. The difference in culture is what makes the year so enriching and
    interesting, however your expectations are constantly challenged. For example, our cultural
    expectations of gender equality and animal rights. Over time we built up layers of
    understanding which helped us process these things.
    An example in our community, was a girl who lived next door. She was about 13 years old
    and we assumed she was one of the familyโ€™s daughters. However, we soon noticed she
    wasnโ€™t going to school, and realised she was a live-in maid. The scenario of a child working
    as a maid and being denied education is awful, and should never happen. However
    culturally it is the norm in parts of Senegal. In fact, they were surprised that we were
    surprised. The girl had come from a poor background and not done well in school, so the
    family saw taking her in for work as a charitable act. Of course, this is still a child being
    denied of their rights but It is important to listen to perspectives when staying in a
    community, even if you donโ€™t agree.
    Being immersed in a community is a wonderful thing. We were in a village which meant
    everyone got to know us, and we had a close relationship with our neighbours, shop
    keepers and students. One cultural difference which I found inspiring but also tricky was
    how privacy is viewed. In Thilmakha every door is open, everyone shares meals, kids run
    freely between houses and parenting is done by everyone. This in incredibly welcoming and
    facilities a warm and friendly atmosphere. However, sometimes it can be hard to find time
    for yourself. I definitely got a little frustrated when kids would bang on my door asking โ€œwhy
    did you lock it?!โ€ after a long day at school. I suppose the photos on our wall and fairly lights
    were enticing. Kids would find where we lived and bring back flocks of others. You could say
    we were novelties. However, this did all simmer down the longer we stayed. Itโ€™s worth
    noting we were the first volunteer teachers to go there with Project Trust, and the first
    white people since the early nineties with the Peace Corps.
    At first, I think we were making such an effort to get involved and learn the language, that
    we ignored our โ€œsocial batteriesโ€. We found explaining that we wanted the occasional meal
    to ourselves and the odd evening on our rooms beneficial for our energy levels and mental
    health. I also think it was good or our โ€œhost familiesโ€ to have some space. Nevertheless, we
    have made friendships that will last a lifetime.
    Onto My favourite topic, the food. We often helped cook, and paid a about ยฃ13 a month for
    lunch and dinner from the neighbours whom we are close with. I can now say Iโ€™ve chopped
    more onions than kids in the lycรฉe. I love cooking with people. Its one of those things that
    fills people with pride, and encourages generosity and togetherness. Food is defiantly their
    love language which was especially apparent at Tabaski (the Wolof name for Eid) which is a
    Muslim festival, involving the killing and eating of sheep. We ate Thiebougenne pretty much
    daily, which is a very popular dish in Senegal consisting of rice, fish and veggies.
    Our neighbours Ngorne and Awa taught how to cook, hand wash clothes, and helped us get
    good prices in the market. In turn we babysat, showed them songs, games and helped them
    with school and house work. All in all, strong friendships were formed. One of the most
    important ways they helped us was explaining things we didnโ€™t understand, such as
    Senegalese Islam, family dynamics and djinns (Islamic spirits who are believed to be very
    much real).
    Over time we definitely gained an understanding of wider Senegalese culture and Islam (the
    main religion) which helped us make sense of our time there and appreciate it. We saw
    some beautiful things, such as great Magals, which are religious festivals dedicated to
    certain serignes (saints). But then again, also some more difficult things such as the Talibe
    who are child beggars who work on the streets to learn lifeโ€™s hardships and who learn the
    Quran in the evening. I do think itโ€™s important to realise that we canโ€™t help everyone, and
    are there to teach English and for a cultural exchange and not to change the world, and itโ€™s
    important to have mutual respect.
    My nine months in Senegal hasnโ€™t been the easiest period of my life, but I am so happy I
    went, and will go back. The support we had from our community and friends made the
    harder parts of our stay much easier. I know I will be reflecting and learning from the
    experiences for many years to come.